BY LACHLAN BROWN
You already know you need to move on with your life. That much is clear. But how are you meant to “move on” when your life feels completely destroyed? And how are you supposed to “put the past behind you” like it was no big deal?
Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to share with you in today’s post. Because over the last few months I’ve successfully moved on from a relationship I thought was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m going to describe exactly what worked for me. Here we go…
Why getting over someone so damn hard There’s the age-old saying, “You never forget your first love.” But it’s not really so much about your first relationship; it’s more about the first time you feel that kind of romantic intensity, which you might have never felt before. And that kind of feeling is extremely rare; some of us only experience that with one or two people in our entire lives. Ultimately, getting over someone you loved more than life itself isn’t just about getting over the loss of the relationship. It’s about getting over the loss of that feeling, and knowing that you may never feel that same intensity again.
Dopamine, the Amygdala, and why the brain won’t let us move on. According to some researchers, the dopamine spike that we feel when we develop romantic feelings for a new person is comparable to what one might feel the first time they take a drug.
It’s a kind of intense high that we feed off of, teaching our minds to keep chasing the feeling regardless of whatever consequences there may be.
We’re biologically wired to neurologically change when we fall in love, and when that love is taken away from us for whatever reason, it’s almost like taking alcohol away from an alcoholic.
The addictive source of our happiness is gone, and our brain has to relearn how to live without those hits. And this is what makes getting over your ex so impossibly difficult.
But it’s not really so much about your first relationship; it’s more about the first time you feel that kind of romantic intensity, which you might have never felt before.
And that kind of feeling is extremely rare; some of us only experience that with one or two people in our entire lives. Ultimately, getting over someone you loved more than life itself isn’t just about getting over the loss of the relationship.
It’s about getting over the loss of that feeling, and knowing that you may never feel that same intensity again. Dopamine, the Amygdala, and why the brain won’t let us move on.
According to some researchers, the dopamine spike that we feel when we develop romantic feelings for a new person is comparable to what one might feel the first time they take a drug.
It’s a kind of intense high that we feed off of, teaching our minds to keep chasing the feeling regardless of whatever consequences there may be. We’re biologically wired to neurologically change when we fall in love, and when that love is taken away from us for whatever reason, it’s almost like taking alcohol away from an alcoholic.
The addictive source of our happiness is gone, and our brain has to relearn how to live without those hits. And this is what makes getting over your ex so impossibly difficult. To be continued.
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