Increasing Rate of Divorce Cases in Cameroon: A Call for Concern

Envisaging a society of disorder, God in his omnipotence and omniscience instituted the term marriage, which is a union between a man and a woman after following certain principles. 

This institution that was proclaimed by God and acclaimed by governments has been received with mixed feelings in Cameroon, as the actors on the romantic stage have concerted to dance on the melody of divorce, which is a direct adverse to marriage. 

Before now, the phrase that guided marriages was "for better and for worse" because the characters of the play had an equated understanding of the fact that to find a good partner is rare and that life will sometimes be unfair, but they have to dare, especially when they know God always cares. 

This notion that was literally scripted on their minds made the parties promise never to quit, as they use wit to make the marriage sweet. The effort of the partners made marriage admirable, formidable and desirable to the extent that even the devil wished to be married. 

Divorce was rare because the parties understood everyone could err. Facing our contemporaries, the rapidity of divorce stemming from marriages conducted with so many expenditures and gymnastics, which sadly end even before the invitees could finish their rice and stew, has pushed many to ask the big question as to what really went wrong. 

In order to attempt an answer, it is germane to scan through the causes of the so many divorce cases in Cameroon. These causes include lack of preparation, lack of counselling, the emergence of social media criteria, fornication, and an increase in the cost of living. 

(1) Lack of Preparation

Early marriages lasted because both parties were prepared for marriage by their parents. On the part of girls, their parents start preparing them for marriage at a certain age by teaching them how to be humble and respectful, as well as cleaning and catering for the home. 

On the part of the boys, they were taught bravery, skills and how to be responsible. After the preparation, the girl is handed for marriage to a man that has also been prepared. The consequence is nothing but a sweet, enduring and lasting marriage. 

The narrative isn't the same today, as many parents do not prepare their children for marriage because they are too busy to even have a daily conversation with them or because families now are disorganised. The mother is on her own corner while the father is at his own side. 

This separation affects the child who will be brought up solely by the mother or father. At times a boy child will be raised solely by the mother, while the reverse is true. 

This aspect alone makes many people enter into marriage with little or no knowledge or training as to what marriage is. This accounts for the many divorce cases today, because when two ignorant people meet, the result will always be a disaster. 

 (2) Lack of Counseling

Going for counseling before marriage became a necessity during the Industrial Revolution, which introduced a lot of machines which consequentially facilitated migration.

As a result, many children were separated from their parents since they had to travel to urban areas or abroad for greener pastures. 

Due to this influx of migration, many children weren't prepared for marriage by their parents because of the distance. Though this preparation was lacking, children of marriageable ages will always come back home and seek advice from their parents, guardians or religious leaders. 

Some religious leaders even impose a 6-month observation period which they term courtship. During this period, the parties are constantly counselled on certain issues before they finally get married. 

Each party gets to know the weakness and strength of the other and decides whether to proceed or not. Because of this counselling period, many marriages last, since each party understands who they are getting married to. 

This is no longer the case today because even God, the author of the romantic stage, is bewildered with the fact that immature youths are now antagonists not only in love scenes but in all marital episodes.

These people don't give a damn about procedures or counseling. 

In as much as they have the money, they meet on social media today, plan marriage online and meet only during a week before the wedding day.

Some meet their parents 1 month before their marriage just for date fixing and tradition. Such marriages where parties hurriedly marry with no counselling are an engine to divorce. 

(3) Emergence of Social Media Criteria

Before now, the criteria for choosing a wife was character, because it was known that character beautifies a lady. For the boys it was just hard work and responsibleness. Due to the advent of social media, these criteria have witnessed a paradigm shift. 

The digital criteria for choosing a wife now consist of a beautiful face, "big boobs" (breasts), and big "boots" (buttocks).

If you don't have these, no matter how refined your character is, you may face difficulties receiving an invitation to the altar. For the boys, it's just 3 criteria: money, more money, and money again. 

As a result of this digitally invented criteria, many girls have neglected the necessity to build a good character and are now concentrating on cosmetic products that can transform their faces from Black to fair and that can enlarge their breasts and buttocks. 

On the other hand, the boys have abandoned responsible and moral jobs to engage in scamming, stealing and killing just to earn a living and get more money, which can enable them to meet the criteria for marriage as demanded by most girls and parents. 

At the end of the day, the result is a union between an irresponsible rich fellow and a beautiful devil. This cannot work, so divorce will always be the only way out. 

(4) Increase in Fornication

 Fornication is a religious term which refers to sexual intercourse before marriage. Prior to now, one of the criteria for marriage was virginity. In fact, it was the main standard, especially for females. 

Parents ensure the virginity of their girl child is preserved till they hand her over for marriage. This aspect contributed to the lasting nature of marriages because the husbands provide a lot of respect and honour to the wives they marry as virgins. 

Because she was married as a virgin, she is treated with a lot of care and love, making it difficult for her to think of divorce. Looking at our society today, virginity, which was the test for marriage, has been relegated to the background because of the invention of a sexual enterprise. 

Due to the lucrativeness of the sexual enterprise, many girls have not only sold their virginity in exchange for money but are also constantly using it as capital for profit-making in this enterprise. 

The most adverse effect of these sex traders is nothing but a loose vagina, which is commonly referred to as a "borehole". 

The boys and men who are the customers of this business engage in the consumption of products like penis enlargement, drugs and manpower drinks, all in a bid to meet up with the unimaginable sexual height of some of these girls. 

After doing business for a while, the lady who now decides to marry ends up making the biggest error by abandoning the boys with enlarged penises for responsible boys who do not take penis enlargement, drugs, or man power during sex. 

The consequence will be a cry of sex starvation or inability of her husband to satisfy her. She will end up giving the papers a caption like " Woman Divorces Husband, Says His "Thing" Is Too Small." This shameful reason defeats the settled principle that "no penis is too small for a well-kept vagina". 

On the other hand, the man or boy who has been consuming drugs, penis enlargement and man power for sex marathons finally marries a lady who is a virgin or a lady who hasn't been sexually active. 

Due to the pain she suffers during penetration, she files for a divorce by giving the papers a caption. " Woman files for divorce, says her husband's "thing" is too big." 

Again, a man who isn't sexually active but marries a former sexual trader will definitely file for a divorce with a caption from the papers as "Man files for divorce, says wife's hole is too deep."

I’m All these examples are evident from the fact that out of 10 divorce marriages, 9 of the partners were former fornicators. 

Once it's cultivated from the garden of fornication, it needs the grace of God for it to last. As an addendum, an increase in the cost of living has its own share of contributions. 

Summarily, after zooming through all these causes, the question that lingers in one's mind is, What can be done to reduce or prevent divorce cases in Cameroon ? This is a topic for another day.

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Marks Abaiko, Secretary General Association of New Generation Authors