Indeed it’s an African tradition of solidarity which means they love the act of togetherness and oneness; this can be seen as you find many concerned persons taking part in both joyful and sorrowful moments: such as feasts and funerals, this act makes the family affected to feel loved in his community.
Over the years, it has been noticed that funeral homes are usually full with many people be it sympathizers who come to condole or observers who come just to see and tell of how the funeral passed, on the basis of: if there was excess food, enough drinks and the turnout of population which reveals how loved or nice the person was.
These are some criteria to know if it was successful or not; some attendees or observers that have no relation with the deceased come with the intention to witness how the preparations were done so as to know how to handle theirs when time comes remember it’s a thing for us all.
No matter the purpose for gathering, people have one thing at the back of their minds be it food or drinks, some see it as an opportunity to see old friends and do some catch up.
The question that comes to mind is: is it right for someone who is bereaved to be held responsible for feeding? It is true that they gathered because of him/her but that does not mean he/she is compelled to do it: if it’s done fine and if not its okay.
Others justify that due to the fact that funerals have been use as an opportunity to extol money from people with the high prices levied on materials, t-shirts and badges, the only way to not feel the expenditure is to eat and drink to satisfaction.
Talking to some persons, their opinion is that they are not in support of this idea of spending money during such times: they rather proposed that if people expect to drink they should come along with it so that it will be a sign of support to the family.
It is often witnessed how annoyed people get when they don’t eat or drink, especially drinks which to them they prefer to drink than eat.
It’s considered the responsibility of the family to their guests: true I would say to an extent. But taking a look at the other side, is that we should consider the pains of loosing a loved one and the hard times the family are experiencing now; then we expect them to spend on food and drinks? Is that responsible on our parts?
This accounts for the increase in debts people get involved in, all in a bit to have a grand funeral and with more interest on satisfying the public while at the end of the day the family feeds from hand to mouth after the burial and thinking of how to clear debts.
Remember this is a solemn moment and so should be treated as one: meanwhile any celebration can come later say during a memorial thanksgiving.
Photo taken during a funeral service in Bamenda
BY BERNICE KONG
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